A Mail-Order Escape Page 8

  Violet lounged sideways on a chair across the living room, her legs crossed over the cushioned armrest as she worked on a needlepoint project. She didn’t bother glancing up. “You don’t say.”

  Sadie didn’t appreciate the woman’s sarcasm, but she was right. While Owen had no right to tell her what to do, it was clear he was only trying to keep her safe. He might have been wrong in how he’d gone about it, but his intentions had been good. That counted for something, right?

  She let out a puff of frustration, before maneuvering Jack away from her. She quickly fastened her clothing and pulled away the blanket she’d draped over them while he’d nursed. She then laid Jack against her shoulder, firmly rubbing his back until he let out a loud burp. “Good boy.” She continued to rub his back in case there were any lingering bubbles in his tummy, but she also did it to soothe herself.

  She was tired of always looking over her shoulder, always scrutinizing everything. Not everyone could be bad, surely. “Do you think I can trust Owen?”

  Violet finally laid her work down and looked over. “Has he given you any reason not to?”

  “Well…no.” Owen had never given her a reason to question him, not even in regards to the incident from the day before. Maybe he could have worded things a bit differently, but she knew his ultimate goal was to protect her, not hurt her. He’d always been kind and giving and attentive, and had never pushed her or made her feel uncomfortable. But could someone be like that all the time? Sadie wasn’t sure. There was good and bad, light and dark inside everyone.

  “Then why are you worried?”

  Sadie frowned. “Do you trust everyone you meet then?”

  “Of course not.” Violet turned and placed her feet on the floor. “But Owen isn’t a random mister. You know him.”

  But did she really? She knew certain things about him, and some aspects of his personality. She cared about him, and she loved the relationship he had with her son. Just the image of Jack in his arms the other night made her heart clench. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel.”

  “Well, why not? You’re an adult. You’re a brilliant woman. A strong one. I don’t understand the problem.”

  Sadie wished she understood the problem herself. She hadn’t always been this wishy-washy. She used to make decisions and stick by them. She used to have a backbone. At least, she did before Gerald. And that was the problem, wasn’t it? “I don’t trust myself. I thought Gerald was a good man. I thought I could trust him with my future and with my life. But I was wrong.” She let out a bitter laugh and shook her head. “I never even thought twice about marrying him.”

  Violet tossed her project on the chair next to her. “That was his fault, not yours. He could have been an amazing husband, and you could have had an amazing life, but everyone makes their own choices. And everyone is in control of how they treat others.”

  “They do. You’re right. So how could I ever take a chance like that again?”

  “Well, you don’t have to. But think about it, Sadie, the others and I will get married. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year, but we will. We will all eventually move on with men whom we love, and who love us in return. We will have partners. We will have someone to share a life with. Our children will have loving fathers. Don’t you want that for yourself? For Jack?”

  Sadie squeezed her eyes tight. “You make it sound so simple.” Nothing was ever that easy. Life was hard and messy. It tossed and turned you, until you no longer knew where you stood.

  “It is that simple. You can’t ever be completely sure about someone. At some point, you have to take a leap of faith.”

  Her stomach clenched. “I don’t know if I can do that again.”

  Violet shook her head. “But don’t you realize you already have?”

  “How? I might have agreed to friendship with Owen, but that’s it.” She hadn’t crossed a point where there was no turning back. Marriage was permanent, and she was nowhere near there.

  “I don’t mean with Owen.”

  Sadie’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “What I mean is, you’ve already taken a leap of faith. You agreed to live with eight strangers. We might all be women, but there are a lot of women out there who are far from sane. You’ve lived with us, you’ve left Jack in our care. You’ve trusted us. I think if you can do that, if you can take a leap of faith with us, you could do the same with a man.”

  Sadie stilled as Violet’s words wove through her mind. She was right. Sadie had opened up and trusted all of the other women. It might have been uncomfortable at first, but she had taken that leap, she’d put her life and trust in their hands, and they hadn’t let her down. Just because they were women wouldn’t prevent them from hurting her or Jack. “You’re right,” she said softly.

  Violet smiled. “What was that?” She leaned in obnoxiously.

  “I said you were right.”

  At Violet’s satisfied grin, Sadie rolled her eyes. The woman was annoying, and sharp-tongued, but she was also loyal and had helped a lot of them see the truth in their situations.

  Violet reached over and picked up her needlepoint again. “When you meet the right man, you’ll be able to take another leap of faith.”

  Well that seemed easier said than done. “How will I know if he’s the right man?”

  Violet sighed and leveled a disbelieving stare in her direction. “Really? You and I both know who I’m talking about. Do I need to say his name?”

  “No—”

  “O-W-E-N. Owen.”

  “I don’t know if Owen is the right man. I mean, he could be the right man, but I don’t know that for certain yet.”

  Violet rolled her eyes. “Now you’re just lying to yourself. You have to realize how sad that is.”

  Sadie narrowed her eyes. “I thought you were on my side.”

  “I am on your side. This is me being on your side. I want to see you happy. I want to see Jack raised by both a mother and a father who love him, and Owen already loves him. I know you’re scared, but sometimes, you just need to leave the past in the past, tighten your garters, and walk forward through the fear.”

  “Tighten my what? What are you talking about?”

  Violet sighed. “I mean...you need to take a leap and trust someone again. And by someone, I meant Owen, in case that wasn’t apparent.”

  “You know, I thought you were getting nicer. Now? I’m not so sure.”

  Violet shrugged and went back to her needlepoint, obviously not caring one bit about Sadie’s opinion of her. But even though Violet had been blunt and a little harsh, it might have been just what Sadie needed to hear.

  She did care about Owen. He’d helped deliver her baby, and had made it almost a mission to spend time with both of them. He’d been there for her to lean on. He made her feel safe. She depended on him, and he lit something within her she’d never felt before.

  When she thought about never seeing him again, truly thought about it, she was sick. And if she kept pushing him away, kept withholding herself and Jack, he might eventually give up and walk away, and Sadie didn’t want that.

  She wanted to be with him, wanted to be by his side. She wanted the dream she’d weaved the other day, when Jack had been asleep in his arms. It was possible. Them, marriage, children, a life.

  Love.

  She sucked in a breath as realization coursed through her. She loved Owen. “Oh heavens.”

  “Yep.” Violet drew out the word as she pulled thread through the cloth.

  Thoughts tumbled through Sadie’s head. She loved him, but did he love her? He’d been there for her, knew he was attracted to her, and he cared about Jack, but was that all? She thought over the times they’d been together, how he’d acted, how he’d looked, but she wasn’t sure. “What if he doesn’t love me?”

  “Oh he loves you.”

  “But I don’t know for certain.”

  “Then ask him.”

  Sadie scoff
ed. “It isn’t that easy.”

  “Actually, it is. You ride over to his house, and you say, ‘Owen, I love you. I want a life with you. Is that something you want too?’ And then you’ll know.”

  Sadie laughed now. “I can’t do that.” Just the thought of it terrified her.

  “You could. You just don’t want to.”

  Of course she didn’t want to! It terrified her, putting herself out there like that. And what if she told him she loved him, but he didn’t love her back? Would he completely back away from them? Would he abandon Jack?

  No. He wouldn’t do that. No matter how afraid she was, and no matter how much she might screw up their relationship, she was sure Owen would never abandon her son. So what was really holding her back? Fear?

  Maybe it was just as Violet had said, and she needed to just go over there and tell him how she felt. He seemed reluctant to take the lead in their relationship, but he also knew how skittish she was, and she appreciated his patience. At least, she had until now.

  She sighed.

  Violet kept stitching. “I’m available to watch Jack if you’d like to saddle a horse.”

  Sadie looked at the woman, amused, grateful, and exasperated all at once. “I don’t know if I should strangle you, or hug you.”

  “I’m sure it won’t be the last time either.” She finally flashed Sadie a warm smile. “Go on.” She nodded toward the door. “Leave Jack napping on the sofa.”

  Sadie kissed Jack on his forehead and set him down, his eyelids fluttering at the contact. “Thank you.”

  “Thank me later. Just get going already.”

  With a hand over her heart, Sadie raced for the door. What she wanted to say to Owen could change her whole life.

  Chapter 10

  Owen kicked a mound of dirt in one of the corrals, frustrated after hearing one of the herd had to be put down after it had broken its leg. Today wasn’t turning out anything like he’d thought.

  After arguing with Sadie yesterday, he hadn’t been in a good state of mind to visit Eliza and check on her. He hadn’t trusted his own temper if Larry had decided to act stupid. So he’d gone this morning instead, and it had been more difficult than he’d expected.

  Eliza hadn’t wanted to open the door at first. Larry hadn’t been home, and he’d forbidden her from opening it for anyone. Eventually, Owen was able to coax her into opening it a crack, though it hadn’t been enough to see her whole form to make sure she was all right, it was enough to assuage his worry. He saw no noticeable bruises or marks.

  She’d assured him she was well, and he didn’t need to worry about her, but he knew he would anyway. Now that he was aware of the situation, he would always worry about it.

  He blew out a breath and sunk to one of the logs surrounding the campfire behind his house. His hired hands were all busy seeing to chores, so he had a moment of peace. Exactly what he needed.

  Even three days ago, things had seemed perfect. Great almost. He and Sadie had been getting along, and she’d seemed to be opening up to him, trusting him, but then out of nowhere, he was smacked right upside the head.

  Now it seemed nothing was going right. Sadie was mad at him for doing what he thought was right in order to protect her. His intentions had been pure, but he now saw where he’d gone wrong. What person wanted to be ordered about? He knew he wouldn’t appreciate it himself, regardless of the person’s intentions.

  He also had no clue how to help Eliza. There had to be something he could do. Perhaps he could—

  “You filthy, yellow livered, son of a goat! I’ll teach you to never speak to my wife again!”

  Before Owen could rise, Larry tackled him from behind, pushing both of them over the log and onto the ground.

  Owen fell on his chest, the packed earth beneath him robbing him of air. Reeling, he only had a moment to try to catch his breath before Larry was rolling him over and punching him in the jaw. Glee lit the bloated man’s face.

  Owen hadn’t been ready for the first punch, but after the hit, his head caught up with what was going on and he angled his body to dodge the worst of the blows.

  Larry lifted his hand again, and Owen took the opportunity to arch his body, throwing Larry to the side and off him.

  Jumping up, Owen pounced on the man, trying to subdue him. When Larry’s fist connected with Owen’s jaw a second time, Owen was done.

  He let loose his fist, hoping the blow would immobilize Larry. The other man had meaty fists, and if he got in another hit, Owen wasn’t sure if his body would bounce back quick enough to defend himself.

  Larry cursed, but didn’t stop struggling. He twisted and wiggled, unseating Owen, but was unable to gain the upper hand.

  Owen growled. “Cool off, Larry! You’re going to get arrested for this.”

  Larry scrambled up and took an offensive stance. “Like that disgustingly love-sick sheriff can do anything to me.” He spit on the ground.

  Near the beginning of the commotion, several of Owen’s hands had run over and circled the men. “Want us to help, boss?” his foreman called out, but didn’t make any move to interfere.

  “Yeah,” Larry taunted. “Why don’t you have your men step in? It’s obvious you can’t take me on your own.”

  Larry obviously hoped his words would unleash Owen’s temper. But Owen was a man now, no longer a boy who allowed words and emotions to sway him into mistakes. He took a few deep breaths, holding his anger back on a tight leash. “Calm down. I only went to see if Eliza was all right.”

  “Don’t bother with my wife. She’s mine. She was fine, at least until she told me she opened the door. She’s going to be feeling the consequences of her mistake for some time.” His lip curled, and he flexed bloodied knuckles.

  “What did you do to her?” Owen asked, even though he already knew. Larry had hurt her. He’d made her pay for Owen’s visit. Rage surged through him.

  “Concern yourself with your own woman. Although,” Larry goaded with a nasty sneer, “that nice little piece might be too much for you to handle. Send her my way, and I’ll show her what a real man is like.” He gripped his crotch lewdly and licked his lips, as if he was imagining what taking Sadie would be like. “Or maybe I’ll just ride to her house now and get her.”

  Man or not, the threats to Sadie’s safety crossed a line and Owen saw red. He let out a yell of anger, then charged Larry, and the other man’s eyes widened in shock and fear. Vaulting on him, Owen let loose his rage, pounding at the man, his mind consumed by images and thoughts of what Larry would do to Sadie if he got his filthy hands on her.

  The man was scum, worse than that actually, and Owen vowed he’d never harm another woman again.

  Sadie had dismounted from her horse in front of Owen’s home when a nearby cry of outraged anger startled her. Her excitement and joy from what she wanted to talk to Owen about faded as her heart sped up.

  More yells were called out from other men, and dread settled in her gut as she ran around the side of the house as fast as she was able.

  Before she even reached the back of the house, sounds of fists on flesh and feet shuffling in the dirt filled the air as the men continued shouting. A metallic tang filled her nose, and she instantly knew fresh blood was being spilled.

  As she finally rounded the corner, Sadie skidded to a halt, before recoiling in horror.

  Was that…Owen?

  Bile rose as she took in the scene of Owen perched atop another man, violently beating him with his fists. Her body shook, and her mind brought forth memories from her past, scenes where she’d cowered in the dark, while Gerald took out his anger on her in nearly the same way.

  She clenched her hands, then brought her tight fists up to her temples to try to block it out. But no matter how hard she tried, the images from long ago played over and over inside her head.

  Owen’s men moved forward as the man beneath stopped fighting back. They gripped Owen’s arms and tugged, but Owen fought them off, until finally realization returned and he
allowed them to pull him off the unconscious man.

  Owen stood over the body on the ground, panting hard, while staring down at the beat-up man with so much malice in his expression. He didn’t appear to regret what he’d done. She assumed the man on the ground was one of Owen’s hired hands, and couldn’t imagine what the hired hand could have done to warrant such a punishment.

  One of the ranch hands checked the bloodied man, and announced he was still breathing and would be fine eventually. Owen cursed and ran a hand through his hair.

  Still frozen, Sadie couldn’t look away. The world around her spun as blackness tried to swallow her vision, but she wouldn’t allow it. She couldn’t allow herself to be vulnerable. Certainly not here.

  Owen had resorted to violence. Just like Gerald. The man she was sure was nothing like her husband had acted just like him. And she’d almost made a huge mistake and told him she loved him.

  Her stomach turned sour, and she gagged. She was going to be sick. She whimpered, wrapping her arms around her stomach.

  Owen’s head jerked up, his jaw swollen and a bruise beginning to make an appearance. “Sadie?” His voice had sounded hoarse when he spoke her name.

  He reached out, as if he could touch her, even though he was yards away. Sadie cringed at the action.

  A look of confusion passed over his face until he caught sight of his bloodied hand. His head jerked to the man still lying on the floor, then back to her. Awareness replaced the confusion and he took one step toward her. “Sadie, I can explain.”

  She shook her head and took a step back, her arms still wrapped around her waist. “There’s nothing to say. You…you…you hurt him.”

  “I can explain!” he called out, but she kept moving back toward the side of the house. “Sadie, please—”

  “No!” Tears flooded her eyes, and she didn’t bother wiping them away.

  He took another step toward her.

  “Stay back!” she screamed, then stumbled as she took two steps back.

  Hurt pinched his face and he lowered his hand, staying where he was. “I’m sorry.”

  She could hardly see him through her tears. “I don’t want to hear it. I just… I can’t even look at you.”