A Mail-Order Dawn Page 8

  He sent up a silent prayer, hoping for a miracle.

  Rosalie was tidying up the cabin, yet again, sweeping the already spotless floor. This will be the cleanest cabin in existence if they got stuck here much longer. And although he hoped they would be rescued soon, he couldn’t count on it, not when Rosalie’s welfare was at stake.

  He set aside the piece of wood he’d been whittling along with the knife and prepared himself to broach a subject he was sure she didn’t want to discuss. “We need to talk.”

  Rosalie’s broom stilled. She didn’t look at him, but her head sagged. “I know. I’ve been thinking the same thing.” She turned to him then and leaned on the wooden handle. “You think we’ll be stuck here, right?”

  Honesty would be best in this instance. She was strong and he knew she could handle it, she might not like it, but she’d handle it. “I don’t know. I can’t say one way or another, but I do know we can’t count on it. We need to prepare as though we’re staying several months in case that’s actually what happens. If they find us tomorrow, so much the better, but we can’t put off preparations any longer.”

  “Can we survive here all winter?” She looked around the sagging cabin, doubt and worry etched in her eyes.

  “We have to. We’ll make it work.”

  She swallowed hard and nodded. Good girl. If he was going to be trapped with anyone, he was grateful it was with her.

  “What needs to happen?”

  He’d thought of little else the past couple days. It would be tight, but they could still make it happen. “The first two priorities are shelter and food. We have the cabin, but with some repairs, we can make it more habitable. It’ll just get colder if we don’t fix it, and we can’t afford to lose any more heat.”

  “I don’t know how to do that, but if you show me, I will help.”

  Admiration wove through him. “I can do that. While we’re working on the cabin, we’ll also need to hunt more aggressively. If we can fell a few deer and save the meat, it’ll go a long way.” By the time winter was over, they would never want to look at deer meat again.

  She nodded and he could see her mind working. “We could use their hides for extra warmth.”

  “Good idea.”

  She glanced to the bed. “I guess this means we’ll be sharing the bed a lot more often.”

  He didn’t dare look at it. That was one other thing he hadn’t been able to keep his mind off of. How were they going to make it through months of being together, alone, while keeping their hands to themselves? Now that he’d had a taste of Rosalie, the thought of kissing her again, touching her, overwhelmed him. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and claim her rosy lips. They sure wouldn’t be cold any longer if he did.

  But there was no way he was going to allow that to happen. There was only one thing stronger than his need for Rosalie, and that was his determination to shelter and protect her from everything. Even him. “We’ll figure out sleeping arrangements. But for now,” he said reluctantly, “we will have to share. Is that all right with you?”

  “We’ve already shared, except last night, and it had been all right.”

  That wasn’t quite true. He’d actually felt as if he’d been strapped to an ancient torturing device, but he hoped he would eventually get used to being by her side, feeling her soft body curled next to his. He had to tell himself that, he had to believe that, or he’d never make it through this experience.

  “So where should we start?”

  He looked around the cabin, quietly assessing the needed repairs. “We’ll start with the door and the larger cracks in the walls. That should make a huge difference.”

  She set aside her broom and her determined eyes met his. “Let’s get started then.”

  Rosalie swiped a piece of her golden-brown hair out of her eyes, accidentally smearing some patch on her cheek. “I’m almost done over here,” she called out loud enough for Tom to hear her as he worked on a different section of the cabin.

  They had worked the last three days, and while the cabin wasn’t completely sound, it leaked warm air much less than before. Plus, they’d gotten lucky, and Tom had caught a deer on the very first day they decided to be proactive. With each moment that passed, it looked more and more like they might make it through the winter.

  If we have to stay. She refused to give up hope. Although, with each day that went by, it seemed less likely they’d be found.

  But now that the door was fixed and the large cracks were repaired, they were sleeping better, and they were eating more, so things seemed less frantic and more achievable.

  Tom rounded the corner of the structure, wiping his hands on a scrap of fabric, and eyed her work. “Looks great.”

  His praise made her stomach flutter. “I’m glad this stuff works. Good thing we had some extra straw to add.”

  He chuckled softly, and she glanced over at him. “What?”

  Raising the already dirty rag, he wiped her cheek. “You had a little something there.”

  “I’m not concerned with how I look.”

  “No one to impress?” he asked, raising his eyebrows high in a mocking fashion.

  She slathered more patch on the wall. “Nope. Not a one.” She laughed before he could even respond, then looked at him again. “I think it’s hopeless to try and impress you at this point. If we are going to be stuck here, you’re going to see me in the same dress for months. I think I’ll end up burning it once we get home.”

  “How about we burn our clothes together? Sort of like a celebration. We’ll just have to make sure we don’t scandalize everyone when we take them off.”

  “Oh!” She moved to poke him with one of her smudged fingers, but he jumped out of the way, laughing.

  “I wouldn’t do that. Then you’ll have to look at my stained clothes for months.”

  Her eyes narrowed playfully. “Well, when you put it that way, I won’t. I don’t want to torture myself any more than necessary.”

  “Why don’t we go in and have something to eat? I hear there’s an appetizing deer steak with your name on it.”

  It was a good thing she happened to like deer, but even the thought of eating more after having it for days made her queasy. Tom couldn’t be looking forward to the food any more than she was, so instead of complaining, she slapped a smile on her face. “My favorite!”

  They cleaned their hands with melted snow, making sure they were tidy enough to enter their home. And when she stepped through the door, and the toasty warm air began thawing out her cheeks, she realized, in a way, this place was becoming a home.

  She had absolutely no desire to remain in the dwelling longer than necessary of course, but so much had happened here. They had cared for it, repaired it, survived here, and now it was part of her.

  Without this place, she wouldn’t have realized the adventure she craved wasn’t about exciting things happening to her. She’d had just enough of that, thank you. No. What she wanted was an adventure with someone she cared for.

  Someone she loved.

  And as Tom walked by her, she knew she loved him. It wasn’t a realization that hit her over the head, stunning her. Instead, it wove through her like warm honey, filling her with an assurance that she never wanted to live without him.

  He’d taken care of her, protected her, fed her, and sheltered her through this entire situation. He could have taken advantage of her, pressing her for liberties she hadn’t been willing to give. But he hadn’t done that.

  In fact, he’d gone out of his way to try keeping a respectful distance.

  Had she ever met a man who was his equal? Had she ever met someone more honorable, more considerate, or more sweet? In her whole life, she’d never dreamed of someone like him. And now that she’d found him, now that she knew she loved him, she wanted even more of him.

  She stood and watched him brush snow off his pants, and when he raked his hands through his dark locks, she wanted to run her fingers through them herself, just to test thei
r weight and texture. His jaw was bristled, and from her vague remembrance, she couldn’t recall him being anything other than smoothly shaven when he was in town. It was hard to keep up that standard in the wilderness, when one only had a hunting knife, but even then, he’d still tried.

  She wanted to feel that bristle against her, gently brushing her chin as they kissed. They had been so careful not to touch each other in that way again, not to get so close they crossed the friendship line. But right now, she needed his touch. And even more, she needed to touch him. She needed to hold him, to kiss him, to explore further this feeling blossoming inside.

  He turned toward her and smiled. “Would you like me to—”

  Before he could say anything more, she strode to him, his eyes widening with each step she took. She didn’t think, only acted, allowing her thoughts and desires to guide her.

  “Rosalie—”

  She rose to her toes and quickly kissed him, but as she brought her arms up to wrap around his neck, he grabbed her wrists in the air, neither pulling her closer, nor pushing her away.

  “Kiss me,” she demanded, still needing more.

  As if unable to stop himself, he moved his mouth across hers hungrily and groaned, before deepening the connection. He layered her with kisses, and she melted as he pressed harder, tasted longer. She tried to break her arms free from his hold so she could continue wrapping them around him, but he squeezed tighter and kept her from moving them, before finally pulling away from her.

  He wrapped her arms low around his waist as he pulled her in tight, both their breaths gasping as if they had just run a very long distance.

  After several moments, he still held her, even though his chest now rose and fell at normal intervals. She wanted to bask in the moment, but something didn’t feel quite right. Why wasn’t he saying anything?

  Her muscles tensed, but she didn’t pull away.

  Finally, he eased back from her, and his serious expression curdled the contents of her belly. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” he assured her softly, but she didn’t believe him. He seemed so distant now after being so close.

  “I’m not sure I believe you.” He looked toward the ceiling, and the lack of eye contact worried her even more. “Just tell me.”

  His gaze returned to hers. “I care about you, Rosalie.” A thrill passed through her, but before she could get too excited, he added, “But we can’t do this.”

  We can’t do…

  She put more distance between them.

  When she completely broke her hold from him, he raked a hand through his hair. “I thought we’d discussed this already. We need to remain friends. Only friends. This is going to be hard enough as it is to keep from crossing the line while we’re living together, sleeping together—”

  He swore softly and turned away, and her eyes widened. She’d never seen Tom like this before—edgy and frustrated.

  Just because she was feeling all fluttery inside and in love, didn’t mean he was. She’d thrown herself at him for the second time and was once again rejected. He cared for her as a friend, but that was it. He might be attracted to her, but not enough to want her in his life on a regular basis once they left here. Their kisses and the physical tension between them could happen between any man and woman stuck together like they’ve been.

  Her heart constricted painfully, just moments after feeling so full and alive. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  He didn’t respond either way. He must think I’m a fool. “This won’t happen again.”

  He didn’t relax at her words, and she could clearly see the whiteness of his knuckles, his hands were clenched so tightly. She really made a mistake. She wanted to run away, to hide and lick her wounds, but that wasn’t an option. Privacy was impossible, so she barreled through and hoped she could mend the tear she’d caused. “I’m sorry.”

  His shoulders dropped then. “Rosalie—”

  “No.” She held up her hand to stop him from saying anything more. She didn’t need his pity, and anything he said would only make it worse. She needed to speak her piece, then bury what had happened between them if she was to survive several months of living with him. “You don’t need to say anything. I am the one who messed up and presumed too much.”

  “It isn’t that.”

  Shaking her head, she refused to listen further. “I think you were right the other day. We need to stay away from each other as much as possible. We may have had to sleep in the same bed for warmth the last few days, but the cabin is better insulated now, so we can make a second pallet on the floor.”

  “Rosalie, listen.” Tom moved forward, his arms outstretched as if to hold her, but she stepped back. She didn’t know if she could handle him touching her right now. He paused, reading her body language correctly, and curled his fingers in as if to stop himself. “We’ll figure this all out.”

  She nodded, the movement stiff, but she just wanted this entire conversation to end before she fell apart. How could she have been so stupid? She loved him, but he didn’t feel anything remotely close in return.

  She turned away as her heart cracked, not wanting him to see. “We will, but for now, I think it’s better if we don’t discuss this any further.”

  Chapter 11

  Tom studied the rigidness of Rosalie’s posture and knew he’d really messed things up. He’d been so tangled up in his own feelings and desires, wrangling them down, forcing himself not to take more from her than he should, that he hadn’t realized he’d bungled the entire situation until it was too late.

  Until he realized he had hurt her. Heavens above, it gutted him. He wanted to reach out, to take her back into his arms and comfort her, but where would that leave them? Nothing could come of their relationship while they were trapped here.

  They could be friends, but anything else was unwise. When they made it back to town, they could then be together. She must know that.

  Didn’t she?

  He paused, doubt creeping in. Perhaps she didn’t. They hadn’t discussed the future. Only the present and what wasn’t possible. He assumed she’d realize what he meant, but from the looks of things, she didn’t. This whole time she thought he didn’t want her in his life. He should be shot! “Rosalie, I said that we shouldn’t do those things because…because…”

  He paused, his ear cocking at a sound outside. He remained quiet as he focused on his hearing, straining to catch another sound.

  At the prolonged silence, Rosalie turned toward him. “We shouldn’t do those things because…?” Then she saw his face and must have realized he wasn’t focused on their conversation. “What is it?”

  “Shh.”

  Soft steps sounded, followed by a nicker. A horse! Relief flooded though him. They wouldn’t be trapped any longer. He grinned at her. “I hear—”

  “Rosalie? Tom? Are either of you in there?”

  Rosalie’s eyes widened and spun to the door. “We’re here! We’re in here!”

  They moved out of the cabin quickly, and an even bigger grin spread across Tom’s face. He’d never been more happy to see Sawyer Morrison, the town sheriff, or Asher Walker, a mountain man who excelled in tracking.

  Sawyer jumped from his horse and moved toward them, relief plain on his face. “I’m glad to see you two.”

  “Not nearly as glad as we are.” Tom reached out and shook the sheriff’s hand. “We feared we’d be here for months yet.”

  “Happy it didn’t come to that.” Sawyer looked them over. “Either of you injured?”

  “We’re both well,” Rosalie assured him. “Tom rescued me in the storm and then led us here. If it wasn’t for him, I’d be dead for sure.”

  Sawyer nodded grimly. “It was a bad one. We’ve been searching for you for a while.”

  “Did the horses make it back?” Tom asked, looking at Asher.

  The man slid off his mount, but didn’t come any closer. He stayed where he was and patted his horse. “They did. Together. It
gave us hope you were both alive and together as well.”

  Relieved both mounts were okay, he shot a grin at Rosalie. They were going home. All the problems they’d been facing were now over.

  With that realization came another. There was nothing stopping him from being with Rosalie. The moment they were alone, he fully intended to persuade her to marry him.

  “If you don’t mind riding double,” Sawyer said as he walked to his horse and mounted, “you can be home in time for dinner. Or if you’d rather, we can collect your mounts and bring them back.”

  Rosalie looked at Tom and he laughed. She looked horrified at the thought of staying here any longer than necessary.

  Rosalie spoke quickly. “We’ll ride with you, if that’s all right?”

  Sawyer nodded, then looked to the other rider. “Asher?”

  “Fine by me.”

  Rosalie walked to Asher, who lifted her quickly, settling her in front of him. “I hope Belle doesn’t get too jealous,” she teased, thinking of his new wife, another one of Ivan’s former mail-order brides and someone she’d come to regard as a sister.

  “I think she’ll be relieved to have you home. They’ve all worried about you.”

  His words sobered her, and Tom wondered what she was thinking. He hoped after a few good meals and a full—warm—night’s rest, she’d be fully recovered from the last several days.

  After Tom put out the fire in the cabin, he bundled up as much of the deer meat they could carry, then threw the remainder in the woods for the animals to scavenge. Finally, he latched the door and climbed up behind Sawyer on his horse.

  He looked toward Rosalie, expecting a smile or an expression of relief, but when she glanced back at the cabin one last time before it was obscured by the brush, she just looked...lost.

  Rosalie had slept like the dead that night.

  The next day, she woke slowly, her eyes fluttering, before she forced them to stay open. She didn’t try to sit up or move. Instead, she relished the soft mattress beneath her, the thick soft blankets covering her, and the elegant surroundings of the room she shared with Juliette in Ivan’s old house.