A Mail-Order Illusion Read online

  He gave a soft laugh. “Maybe.”

  Violet imagined them smiling at one another, and she viciously stamped out her jealousy. Not the time or place, and she had absolutely no right. However, it was difficult controlling the emotion. She’d gone so long exploding in rage whenever it suited her, it was still difficult to control such things.

  “Let me walk you out,” he said, and Violet heard their footsteps move toward the front of the house.

  “If there’s anything you ever need,” he said, his voice quieter with the distance increasing as he talked to Aria, “remember I’m your friend.”

  “I will.”

  The door opened, then closed, and Violet moved from behind the curtain. After a moment, Jimmy walked back in, a grin on his face. “You were behind the curtain, weren’t you?”

  Violet nodded, not smiling back.

  He laughed and moved toward the table. “When she came back here, I thought we were in trouble. Looks like you can move fast when you need to.”

  Violet tried to return his amused look, but it fell flat. This had turned into something far more complicated than just a few lessons between them, and she had no idea what to do about it.

  Jimmy’s smile slowly faded from his face as he took in Violet’s posture and lack of humor in her eyes. “What is it? Are you worried Aria saw you?” He knew she wanted their arrangement to remain secret, but if one of Ivan’s brides found them out, surely it wouldn’t be that bad.

  She shook her head. “No, if she saw me, she would have said so. Aria can be blunt sometimes.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Violet flicked her hair over her shoulders but didn’t look at him. “It’s nothing. Should we continue with the meal?”

  He moved around the table to her. “No. I want to know what’s wrong with you. Speak to me.”

  When he was about to raise his hand to her shoulder, she stepped out of his reach and wrapped her arms around herself. Had he done something wrong? He thought over what he’d said to Aria, but nothing stood out. He’d only reassured her they were friends and there was nothing she needed to worry about.

  “I’d rather not discuss it. We can either continue with the lesson or reschedule for another time.”

  Jimmy let out a frustrated breath and raked a hand through his hair. The Violet he’d come to know was gone, and the ice queen who’d arrived in Promise Creek last year was back. “I don’t understand. Everything was fine before Aria came over, and you heard everything that was said.”

  “I did hear. I heard you console her and make her feel better.”

  “All right. Good. Aria and I are friends.”

  She cocked her head and looked at him. “Really? Is that all?”

  His mouth fell open. “Of course, it is! She’s married.”

  Violet shrugged. “That doesn’t matter to a lot of people.”

  Jimmy tried to remain calm, but he couldn’t stop himself from stepping toward her. Her eyes widened, and she took a tiny step back, but then, as if she was upset she’d done so, she held her ground and raised her chin.

  “Let me make one thing abundantly clear,” he said, his voice low, but firm. “I respect marriage. I respect the vows and commitments a man and woman make to one another. I might have been interested in Aria before she was married, and had she chosen not to marry Cameron Grant, I would have married her. We could have been happy, but now that she’s made her choice, now that she’s married, I don’t think of her that way. I don’t imagine what could have been. That chapter is done.”

  “So, you don’t love her anymore?”

  He heard the challenge in her voice, and he still had no idea what was behind this conversation. He shook his head. “No. I don’t love Aria. And she’ll be the first to tell you, we didn’t love each other back then either. I told her if we married, as time went by, I knew I could come to love her, but our feelings never progressed anywhere near that point. I care for her, I respect her, and I’m her friend. Beyond that, there’s nothing.”

  At his words, her stance relaxed, and she looked down. “Are you telling the truth?”

  “Why would I lie to you? Especially about this?” He couldn’t understand her.

  “Because I’ve been lied to before.” She offered him a contrite smile. “It’s hard to move beyond that.”

  “I’ll never lie to you, Violet. You can believe that. I’ll always be honest with you.”

  “Because we’re friends?” She leaned toward him as if his answer mattered a great deal.

  “Yes,” he said, although he hadn’t truly thought about it before this moment. “We’re friends. At least, I’d like to think so.”

  She nodded seriously. “Good. Because I’d like to have you as a friend, as well.” She finally gave him a smile. “Shall we finish our lesson?”

  He agreed, though still feeling a bit confused, and they moved back toward the table, as Violet began spouting off more absurd rules and advice. Something seemed different about her, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He still had no idea what had sparked the conversation about Aria, or what had caused her to behave in such a way.

  She couldn’t be jealous, could she? The thought quickly entered his mind, and he pushed it out just as swiftly. Surely not. There had to be something else.

  He just couldn’t figure out what else it could be.

  Chapter 5

  Violet had her swim costume tucked tightly in a satchel, along with an extra drying cloth and snacks as she headed out the door of her house. Her horse was already saddled, and she was sneaking out the last few items she’d need for her lesson.

  “And where, may I ask, are you going?”

  Violet froze halfway out the door at Juliette’s question.

  She turned slowly and offered a smile, hoping Juliette wouldn’t ask about her bag. “I thought I’d go for a ride.”

  “Mm hmm.” With an arch of her brow, Juliette crossed her arms. “And where are you riding to? Town?”

  Violet knew if she said yes, Juliette would join her. And while she liked Juliette, and normally wouldn’t mind the company on a ride, Violet wasn’t just going out without a purpose. She was meeting Jimmy. “I’m not sure yet. Just around. I’ll be sure to stay on the road though,” she said reassuringly. She didn’t want anyone to worry about her getting lost.

  Violet saw the skepticism in Juliette’s eyes, and she wondered if Juliette would continue to question her until she found out the truth.

  “You sure have been going on a lot of rides lately.”

  “It’s finally warm enough to do so comfortably.”

  “Perhaps I should start riding as well,” Juliette shot back, a hint of challenge in her voice.

  Violet knew Juliette thought something else was going on. And she was right. Juliette was highly intelligent, and Violet hadn’t exactly covered her tracks well. “You should. It’s excellent exercise.”

  Juliette’s mouth quirked. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Then, after a brief pause, she added, “You know, if there’s anything you ever want to talk about, I’m here to listen. Or if you ever need help...”

  Violet’s shoulders lowered, and gratitude washed through her. Juliette wasn’t going to push her for more information, even though she knew something was going on. She was respecting Violet’s choices and privacy, though still offered her support. It was more than her parents had given her, more than any of her so-called friends had done in New York.

  Nodding slowly, Violet said, “I hope you know how much I appreciate your friendship. I don’t know what I would have done without you and the others.”

  Juliette let out a soft snort and leaned against the wall. “I don’t know what any of us would have done. It’s a good thing Ivan sent for so many of us. We needed the support.”

  “True,” Violet said, shaking her head in amusement. “I never thought I’d be grateful for a man who duped us all.”

  “Funny how life works out.”

  It was funny. Violet neve
r would have guessed her life would end up this way. Being jilted by one man, duped by another man, finding a family with Ivan’s other brides, and even her blossoming friendship with Jimmy. Life hadn’t turned out as she’d expected, but everything was so much better.

  Juliette sighed. “All right. I should let you go on your ride.”

  Violet winced. “Thanks.”

  She turned to leave, but paused when Juliette said, “Oh! I also wanted to let you know that I posted all the mail. I’m planning on sending out a few more letters, so if you have anything else you want to send, leave it on the entry table.”

  Violet was momentarily confused by the words ‘anything else’ in Juliette’s offer, but then decided her friend must have been mistaken. She didn’t have anyone she wanted to correspond with, and although she did write letters to people she knew back East, she would never send them. The letters were just a way Violet expressed her feelings, somewhat like a journal, and they also help her see certain situations in a different light. But anxious as she was to be gone already, Violet simply smiled and said, “Thanks for the offer.”

  “You’re welcome.” Juliette gave a shooing motion. “Now have fun. Be safe.”

  “I will. On both counts.”

  Without another thought, she fled the house, excited at the thought of Jimmy waiting for her.

  “That’s it! You got it! Keep going!” Jimmy shouted as Violet cut through the water.

  Exhilaration pumped through her. I’m swimming! It wasn’t graceful, or all that productive, but she pushed forward.

  After several feet, she stopped and maneuvered herself upright. Her head went under the water a moment before she found her footing and shot back up. Instead of panicking, she was excited.

  “I can’t believe how far you’ve come in only a few lessons. You’re a fast learner.” Jimmy swam over to her, a huge smile on his face, and Violet answered it with one of her own.

  She tried not to blush at his praise, but she wasn’t sure she’d succeeded. She’d had plenty of compliments before, but this was different. Men had often praised her for her beauty—dark hair, icy-blue eyes, a desirable figure—but this had nothing whatsoever to do with her looks.

  This time, Jimmy praised her for her accomplishment. No one had ever done so in her past, and it meant so much more to her than anything having to do with her looks. “I couldn’t have gotten this far without a good teacher.”

  “A compliment?”

  Violet rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you get plenty of them.”

  “But never from anyone so unused to giving them. I don’t hear many compliments out of your mouth, so it means even more.”

  Violet wasn’t sure what to say to that. She ran her hands along the top of the water, taking in the lush green foliage of the trees, the sounds of birds darting in and out of the treetops, anything to keep her mind off what Jimmy had said and how it made her feel. “So how many more lessons do you think I need until I’m proficient?”

  He smiled, and she knew he realized she was avoiding his words. He shook out his hair and droplets sprayed in an arc before falling into the river. “I’m not sure. Everyone is different. Sometimes it takes a long time, sometimes hardly long at all. With how far you’ve come, I’m sure it won’t take much longer.”

  Violet wasn’t sure how to feel about that. On the one hand, she was excited she had learned so quickly, but after she had learned how to survive in the water, Jimmy’s job would be over. There wouldn’t be any excuses left to see him, unless he continued to need help with etiquette.

  “We’ll keep going until I’m certain you’ll be safe if you fall in the river again.”

  He grinned at her, and though she smiled back, she didn’t feel as at ease as she had earlier. “Do you want to keep going? Or should we call it a day?” she asked.

  He hovered closer to her. “I think you’ve had enough for today. But if you want to do some more, I’m up for it.”

  “You sure you don’t have another appointment?” Violet teased, delighted he was willing to stay if she wanted to, but also touched, because he was paying enough attention to know she was tired.

  He chuckled. “I wish. Things are so boring.”

  Violet start moving towards the shore. “Well, with the etiquette lessons, you’re now moving toward something. When it’s time to head east, you’ll be ready.”

  Violet stepped out of the water, squeezing out excess liquid from her bathing costume. She reached for a cloth and dried off the droplets clinging to her arms, before wrapping it around herself. It was warmer today, but there was still a bit of chill in the air.

  Jimmy stepped out of the river behind her and grabbed another cloth. “I’ll be ready, thanks to you.”

  “When do you want to have another lesson?”

  “Swimming or etiquette?” His lips curved in amusement.

  She rolled her eyes. “I guess either, but I was talking about etiquette.”

  He finished drying quickly. “When are you free next?”

  “My schedule looks like yours.”

  He chuckled. “Aren’t we just a pair?”

  They were a pair. They had a lot more in common than Violet would’ve guessed. She’d heard a lot about Jimmy when Aria was courting him, and while she appreciated certain aspects of his personality, she hadn’t really known him. But in the times they’d met in secret, both for swimming and etiquette, she’d learned even more and liked what she found out.

  What intrigued her most, was how easy it was to be herself around him. With others, she felt the need to wear a mask, to never show her true self. Even with Ivan’s other brides, to an extent, she felt that way. She was opening up more and more, but the facade she’d developed to protect herself still came to the surface. With Jimmy, she took the mask off without even realizing it. “I like you, Jimmy.” She looked over, and he gave her a slow smile. She couldn’t help but notice the twinkle in his eye.

  “I like you too, Violet.”

  She laughed then. “I’m serious.”

  “I am too. I do like you. I wasn’t sure I would, but I do. You’re so much more than everyone thinks.”

  “I wish others could see that.”

  “Why don’t you show them?”

  She shrugged. “I’ve tried. But it’s not as easy as it sounds. It’s like I’m not able to be myself around them, that I always have to put on a show.”

  “Even with the other women?”

  She slowly nodded as she thought of it. “Even them. It’s not as bad, but it’s still there. I’ve tried since birth to project a certain image, to look a certain way, to be a certain type of woman. People always expected it of me. I don’t know how to be anyone else.”

  “I think that’s a big part of it. I think if you’d stayed in New York, you would’ve remained that way. But being here, in Promise Creek, it’s changed you. Maybe as you stay in town, you’ll become the person you want to be.”

  “Maybe.” She turned away and looked toward the river. What did her future hold? She didn’t know if she would stay in Promise Creek. She must have thrown away the letter she’d written to her parents about her returning home, which was fine, since she hadn’t decided if she wanted to send it or not anyway, but the thought still crossed her mind occasionally.

  She could always write another letter. She could always go back home. But when she thought of it, New York didn’t feel like home anymore. It felt like a cold, loveless place where she’d needed to guard herself, to keep others away. In Promise Creek, none of that was necessary. She felt lighter here and had so much freedom. If she returned east, that would all vanish.

  Frustrated, she kicked a rock and watched it sail into the river. She didn’t know what to do.

  “What is it?” Jimmy moved to stand next to her

  “I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t know where I should be, and I don’t understand why figuring it out is so difficult. I feel like I’m two people, who are constantly pulling and pushing each oth
er into different directions.”

  “Who do you want to be?” Jimmy asked softly.

  She shook her head. “That’s the problem. I don’t know. I don’t know what I want.” She turned to him and shrugged. “Sad, isn’t it?”

  “What is?”

  “Poor little rich girl. I honestly have nothing to complain about, and yet, here I am, whining about it.”

  He frowned at her. “I don’t think that’s fair. Everyone has problems. They might be different, some might seem bigger than others, but everyone has something. Don’t think they don’t, and you shouldn’t compare yourself to them. You’re validated in how you feel.”

  She really wished that were true, that she could feel that way. But she didn’t feel as if she deserved it. She’d spent her entire life pushing people away, being the snobby princess society expected of her. It was so ingrained. It was hard to turn it off, hard to find the person beneath it. She’d fought and struggled, but it just felt impossible.

  She puffed out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know what else I can do.”

  He was quiet for a moment. “I think having the desire to change is the first step. Anyone who wants something different starts there. For what it’s worth, I like who you are now.”

  She’s really looked up to him. “Really? You like the shrew?”

  He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I don’t see a shrew. You might be abrasive at times, but never towards me. Why is that?”

  She didn’t know why she was so different with him, didn’t understand why she didn’t snap at him the way she did with others. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just something about you that brings out something hidden in me. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing, or a bad thing. But I like it.”

  “I do too. I like who you are, and I hope it’s all right to say that I like spending time with you.”

  Her heart fluttered. No one had ever told her that. Most people tolerated her, dealt with her, and was usually only around her because they wanted something. That wasn’t the case with Jimmy. He liked her, and something had changed between them. She didn’t know if it was because they were friends, or because of their time together, but she’d gotten close to him. Closer than she’d ever felt with anyone else. Even her ex fiancé. “Jimmy…”