Masquerade Secrets Page 11

She hesitated only slightly. “I was afraid.”

  He cursed quietly. “Why? I told you that it didn’t matter to me who you were. I wanted you no matter what.”

  “Really? Had I told you that night at Lady Templeton’s masquerade that I was Lady Aubrey, you wouldn’t have cared?” Once she began, it was impossible to hold it back. “You wouldn’t have cared that the woman you had just declared yourself to was a wallflower? A woman that had been shunned by every other man in that room?” Her voice lowered, dripping with disgust. “A woman that you took pity on and danced with because you were courting her friend?”

  His brows stitched together. “What are you talking about?”

  “Oh, you know what I’m referring to. Every time you danced with Lady Sera, you danced with me after. Everyone saw it as a gentlemanly gesture and that you pitied me.”

  “That’s not true. It never was true.”

  “Oh, so you just wanted to dance with me every single time after Lady Sera?”

  “Yes.”

  The one word seemed to startle her, robbing her of speech.

  “I’ll not lie to you and tell you that there was a spark between us before the masquerade. I was a fool, and I know it. But even then, before I got to know you, I enjoyed your company. You are an excellent partner, and I enjoyed the time I spent dancing with you.” He could see his words affected her, touched something deep inside. “As for the rest of what you said, no I wouldn’t have cared that you were a wallflower. Hell, I wouldn’t have cared had you been ruined. I wanted you, needed you. Nothing else mattered to me. I didn’t care about your reputation, your fortune, or your family connections. It was only you who mattered. Nothing else.”

  She looked up at him sadly. “You say that now, but this morning you didn’t choose me. You turned away from me, appalled that you had kissed me. You chose her. Not me. She’s not real, and you only want me now because you know that I happened to be the girl behind the mask.”

  His grip tightened. He could feel her slipping away from him. Closing off the possibility of what he wanted to offer her. “No. I want you, Aubrey. Damn it, I want you.” He kissed her again quickly, filled with all the frustration he was feeling. If there were some way to communicate his feelings for her, he would try any way he could.

  Pulling away, leaning his forehead against hers. “You have no idea how I’ve been torturing myself. Unable to break my vow but wanting you more than I ever wanted her.”

  She shook her head against his words, forcing back the tears.

  “Please. Please, believe me. I want you.”

  Hearing the soft patter of steps from down the hall, Aubrey jerked out of his embrace. “I must go before someone sees me.”

  “I don’t care who sees us.”

  “I do.” She gave him a look filled with regret, and he saw that she didn’t believe him. He only had another few seconds before the person would come upon them.

  As she began to ascend the stairs, he grabbed her hand to get her attention. “Come to my room tonight. I need to talk to you about this.”

  He saw that she was about to refuse him and his grip tightened. “If you do not promise to come later, I will not let you go now.”

  Her eyes widened, and she finally nodded her agreement before racing up the stairs.

  He should be ashamed for cornering her while she was so vulnerable, but he wasn’t. He would do whatever was necessary to convince her that she belonged with him.

  And he would never let her go.

  “Ah, there you are, Your Grace. I have come to fetch you for dinner. We are about to enter.” Lady Victoria smiled, glancing up the stairs as if she knew that Lady Aubrey had just left.

  She probably did.

  Annoyance bubbled within him and he fought the urge to lash out at Victoria. That was the second time she had come between Aubrey and himself, and he didn’t feel nearly as forgiving as the first time. In fact, she had probably timed it, knowing that they were out in the hall alone.

  But venting some of his frustration wouldn’t accomplish anything. He needed to save his strength, save all his energy to persuade Aubrey to accept him.

  She would come to him tonight, and he would finally set things right.

  She would be his.

  ***

  “What happened?” Charlotte stormed into the room only a few minutes behind her.

  The fact that Charlotte understood Aubrey’s incoherent explanation of what took place didn’t surprise her. They had been able to understand each other since they were very young.

  “Are you going to go to him tonight?”

  Charlotte’s matter of fact question startled her, forcing her to think rationally.

  What was the matter with her? She was normally so strong, so comfortable with her life, but since the masquerade she had turned into someone she couldn’t admire. Someone she didn’t like.

  “I don’t know. Charlotte I don’t know what I should do.”

  “He said he wanted you, Aubrey. He said that he wanted to be with you and that he always enjoyed your company. That it was eating him up, because he wanted you regardless of a promise he made to a faceless woman.”

  “I just couldn’t bear for him to realize in a year or two that he married an unimportant wallflower.”

  “You weren’t a wallflower tonight,” her sister said slyly, making Aubrey laugh lightly.

  “No. I wasn’t.”

  “Perhaps that was how he finally figured it out.”

  Thinking about it, it seemed possible. She had opened herself up, had been unafraid of flirting with the bachelors in residence. It had felt so liberating.

  The chains she had tied around herself had broken free. And she had just been Aubrey. The Aubrey that had been there all along.

  She remembered the way he had watched her in the parlor, surrounded by all those men. He had seemed on edge. Jealous even. A light came on inside her. He wanted her as Aubrey.

  “I’ve been ridiculous.”

  Charlotte grinned before giving her a hug. “Not ridiculous, just silly.”

  Aubrey’s lip quirked to the side. “Thank you so much, sister.”

  “Anytime.” Charlotte grinned playfully. “Shall I make excuses for you at dinner? Your eyes are a still a bit puffy.”

  Nodding, Aubrey agreed that that was best. She didn’t want to face anyone yet.

  As her sister left in a hurry to dinner, Aubrey paced her room, thinking over the time she had spent with Bradford.

  She really had been a fool. What did it matter if he wanted her or the masquerade woman? They were both her. They were each parts of her.

  The fact that he wanted both parts was what made her love him.

  Love.

  Yes, she silently acknowledged it again. She loved him. Loved him with all of her being. He was the most giving and noble man she had ever known.

  To know that he would always be faithful to her, that she would never have to worry about him tiring of her, or him taking a mistress, was a relief.

  And she rejoiced in the knowledge that she would never want another.

  She would go to him tonight. And she would tell him that she believed him; that she wanted nothing more than to be with him.

  Excitement surged through her. He was going to be hers.

  Finally.

  Ringing for Bitsy, she had the maid ready a bath for her. She wanted to relax, have her nerves completely settled before she went to him.

  A smile curved wickedly on her lips. She was going to a man’s bedroom. Oh, how far this wallflower has come.

  With a laugh, she readied herself to face the duke.

  It was almost midnight by the time the house settled down for the night. The extra time she spent in her room hadn’t relaxed her one bit. Instead, she had spent the time tying herself in knots, thinking of all the possible outcomes of tonight’s conversation.

  Tiptoeing, hoping to remain silent, she paused in front of his door. Was she supposed to knock?

  She wa
s being silly. Not only might she wake someone to have them discover her in front of the duke’s door, but he was expecting her.

  With a deep breath, she placed her hand on the doorknob, ready to enter his room. Before turning the handle, she heard a furious whisper from within. Was someone in there with him?

  She released the handle, ready to turn back to her room. But before she took a step, she paused.

  She could go back to her room now, but she didn’t want to. He knew she would be coming. It was probably her imagination. Or he was talking to himself.

  Grinning, she was amused by such an image.

  It was now or never. And she was ready now.

  Not needing another breath, Aubrey turned the handle and walked inside the room.

  But what she saw once she entered was enough to break her heart. With her breath robbed, she looked between Lady Victoria, clearly unclothed in Bradford’s bed, and the man she had come to see, who stood at the foot of that same bed.

  It wasn’t difficult to see that she had walked in on something. Had she misunderstood him earlier? Had he not asked her to come to him tonight?

  The grin on Victoria’s face, signaling that she had won, sliced through Aubrey’s heart. She hadn’t known that something could be this painful. That she could feel as if her heart was literally ripped out of her chest.

  Backing away, Bradford finally moved toward her. “Aubrey, wait. This isn’t what it looks like.”

  “Don’t,” Aubrey said quietly, the steel in her voice evident. “Don’t say anything.” Before he could reach out to her, she turned and fled the room.

  Turning slowly, Bradford faced the woman who had crossed him one time too many. This woman may have just come between him and the woman he intended to marry. The woman he loved.

  The feelings he felt for Aubrey burned so hotly, so strongly, he was surprised others weren’t burned by them.

  “Get out,” he calmly said, not wanting to yell at the woman. However, when her expression turned coy, the desire to throttle her almost overwhelmed him.

  “I would, but I don’t have any clothes on.” She smirked, and he could tell that she thought she had won.

  “I don’t care. It wouldn’t be anything that I haven’t seen before.”

  Her startled expression made him want to smirk. She stuttered, clearly shocked that he hadn’t taken her invitation.

  “I’ll even be fair to you. I’ll turn my back, and you can take the sheet with you.”

  “You cad.” Angry red splotches marred her cheeks. “I could scream right now and have the entire house down in this room within seconds. Then you would be forced into marrying me.”

  Black hot rage surged through him. If she thought she could handle him, trick him into marrying her, she was wrong. “It wouldn’t make any difference. Whether you are ruined or not, I will never marry you.” The disbelief that crossed her face made him continue like a predator after smelling blood. “With all that you have put me through in the last year, you can’t be surprised. I was willing to let go of the lies that you spread about Lady Sera.” The look of astonishment that crossed her face brought the first feeling of surprise to him. “What? You didn’t realize that I knew about that? How could I not? First, you ruined that relationship, then you tried to pretend to be Lady Aubrey at the masquerade, and now this.” He took a menacing step forward. “Let me be perfectly clear, Lady Victoria, as I should have been before. I will never marry you. There is nothing that you could ever do to entice me to do so, and no matter the circumstances, I will never pledge my life to yours.”

  He could see the anger written in every part of her body, but what he hadn’t expected were the tears that began to flow down her face.

  With a slow wipe of her cheek, she looked down at the trail of wetness in her hand as if she were confused at what she saw.

  A sliver of pity rose in his chest, but he fought it back.

  She swallowed deeply and nodded before tugging the sheet around her, rising with the grace of a queen. Without another word, she left, miserably silent as tears continued to flow freely.

  While he never wished to bring a woman to tears, he knew that what he had said to Victoria was something she needed to hear. He just wished that the whole thing could have been avoided.

  Thinking of Aubrey, he knew he needed to find her. Quickly. The hurt that had crossed her features, feeding the vulnerability she already possessed, was more than he could bear.

  Physically, it was painful for him, knowing what she must have thought when she saw him with Victoria.

  Hell, had it been him, he would have probably believed the worst as well. But this couldn’t come between them. He wouldn’t let it.

  Searching the library, he cursed the situation when he couldn’t find her. He looked in the music room next, and continued to the parlor. Soon he was cursing everything for making this so difficult.

  He needed to find her. Needed to set things right between the two of them before any more damage was done. Before the hurt festered.

  At a loss, he looked around the empty hall. Where could she have gone at such a late hour?

  Glancing out the window, he noticed how bright it was. It was a cloudless night, and would probably be warm as well. Would she have gone outside alone?

  He strode to the door with purpose, but what he didn’t know, was that she had escaped him yet again.

  CHAPTER 9

  Collapsing on one of the stone benches in the rose garden, Aubrey’s chest heaved with heavy tears, so much so that she thought she wouldn’t be able to breathe again. Tears raced down her cheeks, attesting to the pain that seared inside.

  Where had she gone wrong? How could she have misunderstood so much?

  He had wanted Victoria all along and had just been toying with her. Rage surged through her, cancelling out her tears.

  Who did he think he was?

  She was worth more than this. Much more. She was Lady Aubrey, daughter of the Viscount Norcliff. She may have been a wallflower, but that was over. She had an impressive dowry, and after tonight she knew that she could capture the attention of a husband.

  Bradford’s face filled her mind and her heart clenched. She had wanted him. Only him.

  Only an hour ago she had been so hopeful. Thinking that he might actually propose to her this night.

  What a silly fool.

  Love had done this to her. He had made her feel, made her want. She loved him and she had allowed herself to believe, even for a few moments, that what he said about her was true.

  She would never be so trusting again.

  With a cleansing sigh, she wiped her tears. She didn’t want to be here a moment longer than she had to. It was too painful to be close by him, knowing she would never have him. She needed to leave, to get away and clear her mind, decide what she would do with her life.

  Rising from the bench, she walked back into the house, making her way to her room. She wouldn’t be sleeping tonight, she already knew.

  “Charlotte.” Aubrey whispered, entering the room.

  Groggy, her sister sat up in bed. “Aubrey? Is everything all right?” she asked, becoming more alert by the second. “What happened with the duke?”

  “I can’t talk about it now.” Aubrey’s voice hitched.

  “Was it bad?”

  Nodding, Aubrey answered, “Yes.”

  “What can I do to help?”

  “There isn’t much. Help me to convince mother and father to leave first thing in the morning. I can’t face him again so soon.”

  Charlotte tossed bedclothes aside, climbing out of her bed to give her sister a quick squeeze. “If it is truly what you want, I will help you.”

  “It is. Thank you.”

  “There’s no need to thank me. I’m sure there will come a time when I need your help to escape. Just think of this as payment for when that time comes.”

  A watery chuckle crossed Aubrey’s lips. “I’ll remember that.”

  Aubrey had been right when
she knew she wouldn’t sleep that night. Slightly numb, the night had passed quickly, thankfully, and at dawn a maid had entered the room to light the fire.

  “I have just spoken with mother. I told her that I thought I might be receiving a proposal from the Earl of Westly but I would need to leave for town immediately. She agreed that we would leave within two hours.”

  “The Earl of Westly?” Aubrey had to laugh at that. “I can just imagine mother’s face at the prospect.” Looking to her sister, her expression turned serious once again. “You’re sure you don’t mind leaving early?”

  “Not at all. I can’t wait to return to London. I’ve had enough of the country.” Her sister’s tone turned brisk. “Come now. Let’s finish our breakfast and dress.”

  Nodding her agreement, Aubrey allowed Bitsy to help her dress. Trying to block out any thoughts of where the duke might be at that very moment.

  Was he in the dining room with the other guests eating breakfast? Was he out for a morning ride?

  Her heart clenched thinking of the time she spent with him. She would never recover from it. He had affected her as no other had ever done before. He had become a part of her to the point where she didn’t know how she would live out the rest of her life without him. It was possible, at least she hoped so.

  She tried consoling herself, but her thoughts only made her more depressed. There would be no relief from the pain anytime soon. The betrayal was too close, her love for him too enormous for her feelings to be contained.

  “Mother should be here shortly. Are you set to leave?” Charlotte asked, interrupting Aubrey’s dour thoughts.

  Nodding briskly, she tried to convey strength that she didn’t have. “Yes.”

  “Oh, I beg your pardon, my lady,” Bitsy said, looking toward Charlotte. “But I heard Lady Langston say that there would be a delay of some sort.”

  Charlotte’s eyes furrowed. “Did she say what it was?”

  “No, my lady.”

  “Thank you, Bitsy.”

  Aubrey looked at herself in the mirror, smoothing her pale yellow skirt. “I think we’re finished here, Bitsy. Thank you.”

  The maid bobbed a curtsy. “Your welcome, my lady,” she said before leaving the room.